Suggsverse vs Logic
by spitfire-panda
Summary: The Suggsverse is more powerful and vast than the imagination of an omnipotent, omniscient god could ever hope to understand, so Pinkie Pie must call in some help. After confronting the Violet Queen she must team up with Sunset Shimmer and Unicron to make sense of that which is infinitely beyond the necessity for being sensible. *This is a repost of a parody I made a while back.
1. Chapter 1

Zephyranth sat in her private study reading one of her favorite books. The blood red curtains shook slightly as the breeze caressed them through the open window. After a moment, she looked up from the fanfiction she had been reading and smiled. With a simple thought, she brought the characters from the story to life. As they stood before her, they looked around at the many books, maps and drawings that covered the walls, their faces curious, but unsurprised.

"Where are we?" Deadpool asked as he took an old, tattered book from a shelf and began turning through its pages. "I bet this thing'd sell for a pretty penny on Ebay! Then I could get those golden rocket launchers I've been eyeing."

"You are in the room of the Violet Queen, Mother of All Voyagers."

"So you're the mother of that ship in Star Trek? How hard did you have to push…"

"Don't be so rude to our hostess," Mr. Mxyzptlk said, eyeing Zephyranth with a lecherous glare. "She is clearly a high level being who pulled us outside of our worlds for some reason that I'm sure she will soon explain."

"I did it because it pleased me to do so, no other reason," Zephyranth said, ignoring the old imp's wandering eyes.

"But I was in the middle of…" Pinkie Pie began. "Wait, what was I in the middle of? All I remember was a coffee drinking contest and really having to go to the bathroom. I'd just left the stall and washed my hooves when… I don't know!"

"You had just left the bathroom and then you appeared before me. What happens next will still happen once I return you. It is but a simple matter for one who is beyond the level that is beyond the meaning of be-all."

"Wait, what?" Pinkie Pie said as she scratched her head in confusion.

"I'm pretty powerful myself," Mr. Mxyzptlk said, his brow furrowed and his eyes locked on Zephyranth's face. "Despite all of the things I'm capable of, I would never make such a claim."

"Because your power is not equal to my own. Thus, such a claim would be pointless coming from one on your level."

"I don't really think that's the reason, milady," Deadpool said as he wrapped his arm around the Violet Queen's shoulders. "I think he wouldn't say anything like that because it would make him sound like Ozzy getting religious on stage during a particularly brutal trip."

"Ha," Zephyranth shouted as the humor struck her. "You three are quite fascinating, but I have broken all barriers. Your minds cannot comprehend my existence."

"No, I'm with Wade," Pinkie Pie said, frowning. "I think it just sounds crazy. Like, 'Hey look at me, I'm better than you' crazy; not 'Hey look at this awesome thing I made when ponies said I couldn't' crazy. It's like you want to be the second one but you don't know how, so you end up being the first."

"I dunno, I think it makes her sound kinda cool." As one, the group turned to look at Fry.

"It's Ok," Pinkie Pie said, smiling as she rubbed his arm reassuringly. "To each their own, friend."

"Thanks Pinkie Pie," Fry said as he smiled down at the mare in appreciation. "By the way, I won the Coffee Drinking Contest."

Then Fry threw a handful of dollars on the ground, yelled in victory, and began glowing a soft golden hue before vanishing.

"I'm glad he's happy!"

"I'm glad he dropped his change!" Deadpool said as he knelt down to pick up the money.

"I'm still trying to figure out how this woman comes off making these claims," Mr. Mxyzptik said as he crossed his legs and floated before the group. "I mean, really… I've punched the writers at DC in the face and stolen their scripts, and I still wouldn't make a claim like that."

"I once broke through the comic bars of my book to reach the end," Deadpool said as he pulled his arm from around Zephyranth's shoulders to look at a golden crown on her desk.

"I once made a pie for Lauren Faust! She told me it tasted like oatmeal and I said 'Oatmeal? Are you crazy?' Then she woke up."

"The point is, we've all broken the fourth wall before," Mr. Mxyzptik said. "Some folks on Vs. boards call this a superpower, but really it's just a writing device. It makes sense when taken in the context of our story and character. It's the author's means of communicating with the reader directly through us without having to make notes within the story. Though this device should be used sparingly, if at all, in most situations. Ultimately, regardless of our circumstances, the author is still in control."

"I have read all of your stories," said Zephyranth as she motioned toward the large, oak bookcases around her room. "I have also read all of the stories of the lives of your authors."

"Have you read the story of this author's life?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"Of course I have."

"Tell us something about him, then," Deadpool said as he leaned against a bookcase.

"He is a purple cat from the seventeenth dimension. He was born on a planet made of corn flakes in a universe that is ruled by the Lima Bean Emperor, who conquered the cosmos through the use of his Instant Obesity Ray Gun. He's a rebel. A lone purple cat in a company of green dogs. Despite their differences, they use fitness pads to make people healthy again, without resorting to body shaming. Their motto, 'Big is beautiful, but too big is bad'."

"Ok, I really don't think that's right…" Pinkie Pie said, frowning and rubbing her head as if to try and forget the ridiculous description. "I'm pretty sure he's just a nerd sitting at a computer desk typing about this stuff because of a bunch of threads that popped up on /r/whowouldwin."

"My point is made, little filly. I know so much more than this, and so much more than you."

"How do you know what you know?" Mr. Mxyzptik said, his face now angry and disdainful.

"I am beyond the concept that is beyond the concept of knowing by an infinite amount of degrees. I could explain it to you, but you wouldn't understand."

"I'm willing to bet you don't understand, yourself," Deadpool said as he pocketed a golden watch from the desk drawer he was digging through.

"Oh? And how would you back up such a claim, little chicken?"

"First off, I'm not a chicken. Why would you think I am?"

"I never called you a chicken!"

"But you did…"

"No, I didn't!"

"Enough!" Mr. Mxyzptik yelled. "The author is just messing around with her now. Get to your explanation already, Wade."

"Fine, fine," Deadpool said as he crossed his arms and stood beside the imp. "My explanation is simple. You don't understand anything you say because Lionel Suggs doesn't understand anything you say. Nor does he understand anything he says about you! That guy is the most pretentious…"

"Hey," Pinkie Pie interrupted. "No name calling! I'm sure that Lionel Suggs is a great person."

"Are you saying that, or is the author?"

"Both of us are saying it! Neither of us want to be mean to a guy we don't even know."

"Yeah? Well that doesn't apply to me! I'm all about being mean, so long as there's money involved! And this lady's just sitting here listening to us gripe while I take her stuff! So long as we're griping…"

"Enough with all the exclamation marks!" Mr. Mxyzptik yelled. "It's hurting my eyes! Besides, that guy made me a letch at the start of this fan fic. I'm a lot more inclined to take Wade's side."

"He only did that because he couldn't remember much about your personality," Pinkie Pie said. "He regrets it, but he only really knows you from watching Superman the Animated Series as a kid."

"Hmph," the Imp said, crossing his arms in disgust.

"Are you quite done?" Zephyranth said, cocking her head to the side in confusion. "I really don't know what's caused this sudden outburst, but my private study isn't a good place for it."

"Wait," Mr. Mxyzptik said as he stroked his beard with sudden thought. "If you've read our stories then how could you not know about this argument or what's caused it?"

"I… Of course I know about all of this! I am beyond the concept that is beyond the concept of…"

"We know," the three guests said in unison.

"Look," Deadpool said as he pulled a large, diamond-studded necklace from a jewelry box on Zephyranth's desk. "I'm going back into that fanfiction and I'm going to reenter that Coffee Drinking Competition. This time, that loser Fry won't be allowed to join. If I'd known he could drink one hundred cups of coffee before any of them could pass through his system, I wouldn't have entered in the first place. But seeing as he's now in hyper speed mode running around your house, I don't think we have to worry about him for a while."

With that, Deadpool leapt into the book that sat on the Violet Queen's lap.

"I'm going to reenter, too," Mr. Mxyzptik said, smiling. "This time, I'm going to take a page out of Fry's book and cheat. Then I'm gonna get those golden rocket launcher's Wade's been drooling over and use them to blow him up!"

The spry, old Imp laughed as he jumped back into the fanfiction as well, leaving only Pinkie Pie in the room with the Voyager.

"Yeah," the mare said after a moment of awkward silence. "I think I'm gonna go find Fry. Competitions are fun, but I'd rather be on a sugar high than a caffeine high."

With a happy giggle, the small, pink mare skipped through the doors of Zephyranth's study in search of her stupid friend. The Violet Queen sat in silence for a moment, considering the conversation she had just taken part in. After some introspection, she began a soft monologue to herself.

"Having a powerful character is fun, but describing that character's power has its limits. To say that something is 'beyond infinite' is the same as saying it is infinite. For beyond infinity, there is simply more infinity. The author cannot describe that which they do not understand apart from saying 'this is beyond comprehension'. That, alone, is sufficient; anything more would simply be redundant. But a character can do that which a writer cannot. A character, and their story, can do the impossible. They can achieve the highest levels of power. They can even take on a life of their own. But even so, even if a character reaches true omnipotence, this does not remove the constraints upon the author. For infinity is just a description of that which the human mind cannot comprehend. It is a word used to explain something that may, or may not exist. It is nothing but a concept. There can be no 'beyond' when speaking of concepts, for they, in their very nature, are undefined. They can grow, they can shrink, and they can stay the same depending on the interpretation of the one imagining it. But at a certain level, imagination fails to truly describe what the most powerful of characters experience. Creating words, or making up descriptions cannot change this. For so long as the author is limited, so is their view of their own work. But they keep trying anyway. That is the beauty of art."

The Violet Queen sat on her bed and pondered this for a moment, wondering if her words would ring true in the grand scheme of things. Finally, she shrugged, unsure of her own intentions, but still happy with the outcome. She walked over to one of her four large bookshelves and pulled out a single tome. On its cover was a picture of a purple cat surrounded by green dogs, saluting as they chewed the carrots in their teeth like cigars.


	2. Chapter 2

Pinkie Pie sat in the Voyager family's library, tapping away on a typewriter she'd found. She'd played hide and seek with Fry for several hours. Once his coffee induced super speed had faded, he'd decided to return to the fan fiction world to watch Mxyzptik blow Deadpool up. Senseless violence had no place in Pinkie Pie's heart, so she had decided to remain in the Voyager's world to see if she could spread some cheer and common sense. So far, Zephyranth had been the only Voyager she'd seen.

"What's going on, Pinkie Pie?" said a soft voice from the library entrance. Pinkie Pie turned to see a red and yellow mane moving past the empty places on the bookshelves.

"I'm over here, Sunset!" Pinkie Pie called happily.

"There you are!" Sunset Shimmer said as she walked around the corner shelf. Her saddlebag was full of books, and her mane was a bit dusty. "I gathered a bunch of books and had Discord send me over. This is the first time we've met each other, actually… Hi!"

Sunset Shimmer offered her hoof to Pinkie Pie nervously. Pinkie Pie pushed her hoof down and gave her new friend a big hug, instead.

"I know this isn't canon," Pinkie Pie said as she completed her hug and let go. "But it's good to finally meet you, Sunset."

"It's good to meet you, too," Sunset Shimmer said, happily. "So, how can I help?"

"Did you meet any of the Voyagers out there?"

"I met one. Her name was Xeranthemum."

"That name sounds like a sad flower," Pinkie Pie said as she turned back to her typewriter.

"She's more confused than she is sad. My human friends are consoling her."

"Why?"

"She started talking about something called 'Cataphysics', which doesn't make sense. She wouldn't accept my logic, though. It seemed to go in one ear and out the other. Then she tried to erase me and the other Canterlot High gang from existence by waving her hands. When that didn't work, she had an emotional breakdown."

"Aww, poor crazy flower lady."

"I am not a crazy flower lady!"

The ponies turned to see Xeranthemum standing before them, a bouquet of flowers crushed in one hand.

"Where are the others?" Sunset Shimmer asked.

"I left them with my sisters. They had meltdowns of their own… I recovered first because I'm the strongest!"

"What makes you the strongest?"

"I have the best control over Cataphysics. Your existence, and the existence of all that is, are most firmly in my grasp. None of my sisters can manipulate the Suggsverse as I can."

"We're not from the Suggsverse, though," Pinkie Pie said.

"Everything exists within the Suggsverse. You are no exception."

"Let's just say that's true," Sunset Shimmer said, carefully.

"Why?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"To keep her from freaking out again," Sunset whispered.

"Oh, ok," Pinkie Pie said with a sly wink and a nod. "So we're 'part' of Suggsverse and you're above it all. What does that mean to you, Xera?"

"I am Xeranthemum. Not 'Xera'. You lower tier creatures will address me as such."

The ponies shared a long-suffering look at this remark, but continued to humor the Voyager.

"So, what does it mean to be a Voyager, exactly?" Sunset Shimmer asked.

"It means that my existence is dependant on nothing but myself. I stand above the Ace of Spades, who himself stands above all of reality, fiction, non-fiction, cata-fiction, peta-fiction…"

"Does he stand on a really big chair?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"No! He resides in the Art Gallery! I think…"

"You don't know?" Sunset Shimmer asked as she led Xeranthemum to a seat. Pinkie Pie poured the Voyager a cup of tea and set it down before her guest.

"Of course I know! I am beyond the need for the concept of knowing, while still encompassing it in its entirety. And being outside of it, but still a part of it. Somehow."

"You can't even make me dissapear, and you still make those claims?" Sunset said as she accepted a cup of tea from Pinkie Pie.

"Lets start from someplace more simple," Pinkie Pie said as she poured her own tea and sat down next to Sunset Shimmer. "What do you do for a living?"

"I study Cataphysics," Xeranthemum said as she sipped her tea between shaking hands. "I think…"

"And what is 'Cataphysics'?" Sunset Shimmer said, more kindly than before. A feeling of pity began to well up in her heart as she tried to understand the other person.

"Cataphysics challenges to answer two elementary questions in the most all-encompassing possible and impossible terms: What is there beyond the apex? What is it like to be beyond the ever transcending supreme? The basis of the lower tier of physics is indeed Cataphysics."

"So… physics in our world is fundamentally grounded in this 'Cataphysics'?"

"Yes."

"In what way?"

"Just as the physics of individual universes are preoccupied with that which is strongest, so too is Cataphysics. In fact, Cataphysics is the reason why lower levels of physics are preoccupied with that which is above the apex."

The ponies shared another long-suffering look before Sunset Shimmer spoke again.

"Actually," she said, as carefully as she could. "The 'lower levels of physics', as you call them, aren't really interested in 'that which is above the apex'. Physics exists to explain the natural world. It has nothing to do with who could beat who in a fight."

"Of course they are!"

"So, explain how the force of gravity is trying to find the most powerful person?"

"Under certain conditions, gravity can extend to levels of infinity. The strongest being exists above levels of infinity. Gravity attempts to reach that level and fails."

"You can't be serious," Sunset Shimmer said as she put a hoof to her face in frustration. "In the physical universe, gravity only reaches infinity at the center of a black hole. That's due to the impossibly dense singularity."

"Why do you think black holes exist?"

"Because at the ends of their lives, stars of certain sizes accumulate iron in their cores that gravity then…"

"The process you are trying to explain is the physical process for the creation of a black hole. It is not the reason why black holes exist."

"Why do black holes exist?" Pinkie Pie asked with a big, sincere smile.

"They exist because matter, at its most basic level, seeks to transcend into something greater."

"Can you prove that?" Sunset Shimmer asked.

"No," Xeranthemum said.

"Then why make the claim?"

"Because it is true."

"How do you know?"

"Because I study Cataphysics."

"So it's a question of faith?"

"No. It is a fact proven by science."

"What about the natural forces that don't approach inifinity in the natural universe?" Pinkie Pie said.

"Good question, Pinkie," Sunset Shimmer said as she poured herself more tea. "Gravity is actually a weak force in relation to other forces, such as the magnetic force. Only in black holes is this trend different. None of the stronger forces have any instance where they seem to 'seek transcendance', as you claim. In our terms, this means that none of them ever approach infinity. But if they are underwritten by the laws of Cataphysics, these stronger forces should approach infinity more easily and more often than gravity. Why is it that only gravity approaches infinity?"

"Because gravity is the only physical force that trains day and night to become stronger," Xeranthemum said, confidently.

"Rainbow Dash gets stronger in a dojo," Pinkie Pie said. "Does gravity train in a dojo, too?"

"No, Pinkie Pie," Sunset Shimmer said as she rubbed her temples. "Gravity doesn't train in a dojo."

"I know that," Pinkie Pie said as she leaned close to her friend and whispered. "I'm just being silly 'cuz it's fun."

"You'll give her ideas!"

"She doesn't need to give me ideas," Xeranthemum said. "I already know that Gravity doesn't train in a dojo. He trains under a waterfall. I'll call him in here so you can see for yourself. Oh, Gravity!"

A puff of smoke filled the area around their table and a haggard old man appeared before them. He was wet, and smelled of rotten fish and animal droppings. He had no teeth. His arms, bare chest, and distended stomach were covered in hair.

"Show them your Infinite Mass Punch, Gravity."

"C-can we really call it that?" the old man said, nervously. "W-won't DC sue us?"

"We are beyond the necessity for the concept of lawyers. Now hit something as hard as you can! Show these ponies the efforts of your training!"

The old man took a martial arts stance, spreading his legs in an awkward position and nearly falling over in the process. He wound up his fist and punched a bookshelf as hard as he could. Nothing happened. The bookshelf didn't so much as shake. Having accomplished his task, Gravity fell backwards and passed out.

"Well?" Xeranthemum said proudly. "Do you now see the truth?"

"I saw an old man in poor health hit a bookshelf," Pinkie Pie said in concern. "Nothing happened. Is he gonna be alright?"

"This world exists far above the level of infinity Gravity can reach. It exists far above the concept of gravity and infinity, much less the necessity for either. Anyway, he isn't even a proper character in the Suggsverse."

Sunset Shimmer raised an eyebrow as she toppled the bookshelf.

"Excelent! You're a Voyager too!" Xeranthemum exclaimed as she clapped her hands in excitement. Pinkie Pie and Sunset Shimmer facehoofed in unison as Gravity snored peacefully next to them.


	3. Chapter 3

"So, explain 'Theaphysics' again," Sunset Shimmer said as she opened a bottle of Ibuprofen and began to chug. Pinkie Pie pushed the bottle down before Sunset could swallow more than five pills and shook her head disapprovingly. Gravity continued to snore, and occasionally scratch himself, next to them.

"Theaphysics supersedes and creates the themes that underpin an existential ideaology of that which is greater than a zenith that is impassable – that is unknown and unknowable; continuously transcending the former existential ideaology, echoing so far that the existential ideaology might as well not even exist. Theaphysics itself creates its own branching and starts to create a greater logic."

The ponies stared at Xeranthemum for a moment. Then, Sunset Shimmer raised the bottle to her mouth once more while turning her tea into fresh, frothy apple cider.

"Too many pills is bad!" Pinkie Pie said as she pulled the bottle out of her friend's grip and capped it. "The apple cider is enough, but you have to change my tea, too. And do the whole tea kettle while you're at it."

"So, what are the laws of Theaphysics?" Sunset Shimmer asked as she fulfilled Pinkie Pie's request.

"In order to understand Theaphysics," Xeranthemum began. "Its context of description will be manipulated in order to serve a relation at the minimum. One of the inescapable truths is that we are all stories. Well, you're stories. I am not of Nothing, Totality, Possibility, or Uncertainty. I am not of anything except myself, and even then, I have transcended 'Self'. Like all Voyagers, I am beyond the supreme and impassable narrator, author, and series that is the Ace of Spades."

"If that's true, then what are you 'of'?" Pinkie Pie asked as she took a sip of her cider. "I mean, if you are only of yourself, yet you've transcended self, and you're above everything else, then there's nothing left for you to 'be of'. So you must 'be of' nothing, but you've transcended 'nothing' therefore you must be…"

The pony's eyes grew wide and she smiled, as if she had just answered a strange, new riddle.

"You're of Something!" Pinkie Pie yelled happily. "Oh my gosh, I can't believe I figured it out!"

"Something is an abstract that falls under Totality," Xeranthemum said, confidently. "Therefore, I am beyond it."

"The abstracts you mentioned would arguably overlap," Sunset said as a she began to understand her friend's thoughts. "Possibility and Uncertainty would most definitely fall under Totality. The concept of Nothing wouldn't. Neither Possibility or Uncertainty would apply to Nothing, unless it were the possibility of something becoming nothing, and the uncertainty that arises from that."

"Yet I am beyond Totality and Nothingness. Therefore, I am beyond the concept of Something, since Something is synonyms with the Totality of Creation."

"Yet you're beyond Self, and therefore you shouldn't have a personality."

"I am a living contradiction. Or, I would be if I weren't beyond the concept of living and the concept of being a contradiction."

"So you're dead?" Pinkie Pie said as she took a large gulp from her cider.

"I am beyond the concept of Death."

"So you're neither dead or alive… I think you might be Schrodinger's Cat."

"I am beyond the concept of cats, too."

"Back on topic," Sunset Shimmer said, as politely as she could. "Theaphysics is all about stories."

"Yes," Xeranthemum said as she reached for the tea kettle.

"No," Pinkie Pie said as she swatted Xeranthemum's hand away. "Sunset and I need all the apple cider we can get or we'll have a nervous meltdown ourselves!"

She nodded at Sunset to continue while Xeranthemum rubbed the sore spot on her hand.

"So, Theaphysics must reach down to the lower tiers, because we create our own stories."

"Theaphysics underwrites Pataphysics, which in turn underwrites Metaphysics, which in turn…"

"Wait, did you just say 'Pataphysics'?" Sunset said, interrupting the Voyager.

"Yes, I did. Pataphysics is the ultimate reality beyond metaphysics. Metaphysics is a branch of philosophy attributed with explaining the fundamental nature of being and the world…

"Well, you've got it half right. Physics is focused on the nature of the world and the matter of the universe. Metaphysics is more abstract."

"And Pataphysics is more abstract still. It seeks to answer two questions: What is there? What is it like?"

"Are you sure 'Pataphysics isn't just a joke somepony made to insult a bad science teacher?" Pinkie Pie said.

"Pataphysics influences the definitions of Omnipotence, and those who use it are beyond Omnipotence," Xeranthemum said simply. "It lies around the roots of Absurdism, Surrealism, Dada…"

"So it's an artform?" Sunset Shimmer asked. "Absurdism and Surrealism reflect reality by using its extremes and distorting them. Surrealism is specifically cerebral in nature. It sought to unlock the potential of the unconscious mind i.e. writing about dreams and irrational juxtaposition to express art that was free of societal limitations."

"That is exactly what the Suggsverse achieves," Xeranthemum said as she looked down her nose at the ponies. "However, the Suggsverse isn't just free of societal norms. The Suggsverse is free of all norms that might relate it, or make it relatable to anything lower than itself. Metaphysics towers above physics in a way that is unrelatable and abstract. Pataphysics towers above Metaphysics in the same way. Cataphysics towers above everything, reaching beyond the zeniths that exist in each plane below it."

"But you said Absurdism, too. If 'Pataphysics is related to Absurdism, then there must be similarities between them. I read an old story once that had an interesting quote. It said 'The absurd is born out of this confrontation between the human need and the unreasonable silence of the world.' But there's more…"

Suddenly, the building shook and the three people fell out of their chairs. Sunset Shimmer picked herself up off of the sleeping form of Gravity, gagging slightly from his smell.

"Oh, look!" Xeranthemum said, her smile awkward and defensive. "Unicron and Galactus are fighting outside! I hope we don't get eaten."

With that, she stood from her seat and ran to the window to watch the battle.

"Wait! We're not done here, yet. There's more!"

"I can't hear you," Xeranthemum yelled without turning away from the window. "I'm too busy fearing for my life!"

"I don't think we're gonna get much more out of her," Pinkie Pie said as she finished her cup of cider.

"Yeah, I don't think she knows what we want to know anyway," Sunset Shimmer said as she turned and walked to the door. "Let's go outside. We need to talk to Unicron."


	4. Chapter 4

"You're certain that the advice you gave me was sound?" Unicron asked as he walked down the bright pathway that led from the Voyager's realm to Suggsverse proper.

"Of course!" Sunset said as she and Pinkie Pie sat atop the god's shoulder. "Letting Galactus have a crack at the Voyagers gets us to our destination faster."

"Your goals are not my own, little pony," Unicron rumbled threateningly. "Though your human friends seemed rather excited about cheering Galactus on."

"Look, you can eat this Art Gallery place if you want. I'm sure it's got a ton of energy, we just have to get there."

"And you have to let us talk to this 'Ace of Spades' guy before you eat it, too," Pinkie Pie added. "Otherwise, this trip is kinda pointless."

"Actually, you can talk to me if you want answers."

The ponies looked down at the road of light beneath them to see a human standing there. He had dark skin, with a thin, neatly trimmed beard. He wore black sunglasses, and his tone implied great knowledge.

"I am August Aeclepius Averrunscus, one of the most intelligent humans in all of creation. I have been sent here by the Ace of Spades, as a mortal, to speak with you. We are of the same phsyicality, and so we might relate better."

"You talk like someone from a science academy," Pinkie Pie said as she and Sunset Shimmer walked into Unicron's hand. He knelt as he set them down on the pathway.

"That's because he is the greatest physicist in his world," Unicron said. "He might actually be able to answer your questions where the Voyagers couldn't."

"Fine," Sunset Shimmer said as she turned to address August. "What is the method for stepping outside of time? And why is being outside of time a contradiction?"

"There is no true method for stepping outside of time," August began.

"Wrong. Magic or sufficient levels of technology are the correct answers. The second answer is…"

"…Time is relative to action and change," August said, ignoring the mare's interruption and speaking over her. "However, if one were to step outside of space-time, then they would step into higher-dimensional time."

"Would this higher dimensional time involve 'Pataphysics?"

"Yes. The step up from the Metaphysical laws that govern the physics of a normal universe is Pataphysics."

"I think you're forgetting the apostrophe," Pinkie Pie said.

"I believe he ignored the apostrophe," Unicron replied.

"The Pataphysics you know is but a spectre of the true nature of Pataphysics," August said as his eyes began to turn silver and a hat appeared on his head. "For you see, Pataphysics is that which influences the definitions of Omnipotence. Therefore, while 'Omni' variants including Omnipotence can 'transcend' to this zenith, by default, Omnipotence, which is an apex itself, under the logic of Pataphysics, is lower because Omnipotence is a product of Metaphysics."

"Actually," Unicron said as he reached down and grabbed August. "Metaphysics is a product of Omnipotence, as is 'Pataphysics, Theaphysics, Cataphysics, and any sort of imaginary branch of physics you wish to name. Everything in creation, no matter how many levels of power an author might give it, is subject to Omnipotence. All logic and reason is relative to the whims of the omnipotent, for that term isn't a 'zenith'. It is a description created by limited minds to describe that which they cannot fully understand. Inifinity, eternity, and absolute nothingness are similar. Adding words or prefixes to these things isn't adding any qualities to them. Nor is it a means of creating boundaries for the boundless. It only creates unnecessary redundancies. Trust me. I'm nigh-omnipotent, myself. All evil and chaos in my multiverse is the result of my very being."

"We have multiverses! We have omniverses upon omniverses in the Suggsverse! You exist here, too!"

"Pinkie and I humored Xeranthemum with that, but only because she was a little unhinged," Sunset Shimmer said. "You're not unhinged, you're just arrogant. Physics doesn't exist to define 'apexes' or 'zeniths'. No form of physics does, even joke sciences like 'Pataphysics. Authors use physics to describe impressive feats performed by their characters. It's for the fun of the story, not because they're searching for the zenith of anything! You people just don't see that… What are you doing?"

Sunset stopped in her lecture to stare in confusion as August glared at her, his eyes glowing with a silver light.

"I'm not glaring at you," August lied as his kasa fell off of his head. "And even if I were, my eyes are sightless and unobservable. You couldn't even tell if I was glaring at you!"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure you're glaring at us…" Pinkie Pie said as she shivered. "It's kinda creepy."

"Your reality is shattering into stardust memories at the power of my glare! In fact, there was never a memory of you to begin with, for you were never within the union of Nothing and All Possibility."

"Hasbro doesn't endorse those unions," Unicron said as he lifted the Silver Devil up to his mouth. The man began to struggle in the inescapable grip of the Transformer God before being dropped into the robot's gaping maw.

"What did he taste like?" Sunset asked in morbid curiosity.

"He tasted like hot air, as I knew he would," Unicron said as he lifted the ponies and placed them back atop his shoulder. "I'm hoping this Art Gallery makes for better food."


	5. Chapter 5

"So, it sounds like the Suggsverse exists for the sole purpose of having super powerful beings, and they're all powerful because they use different branches of physics 'above' Metaphysics," Pinkie Pie said as she pulled a cake out of the oven Unicron had conjured for her. "Thanks again for building us this little kitchen on your shoulder, Unicron!"

"It took no effort, little ones. The further we travel down this pathway, the more eager I am to explore this art gallery."

"I thought you wanted to eat the Art Gallery?" Sunset Shimmer said as she watched Pinkie Pie begin preparations for the icing spread. "We should be getting close."

"Where are we, anyway?" Pinkie Pie asked as she looked around them. "Everything went all red."

"According to the book I took from the Voyager library, we're in a place called Realm Reborn Red. It's named after a beverage from a Final Fantasy game."

"I think we went too far," Unicron said as he turned around.

"There are pata-characters in the suggsverse, and upon reaching this place they automatically gain full mastery of a system of powers such as 'reverse plot-armor' and 'the capability to create and assume control of concepts that aren't of a Para-Meta-Omnicient Mind-Scape.'"

"So, by stepping up to a higher plane of existence, these creatures gain the power of made-up words?" Unicron said as he raised one gigantic eyebrow.

"Pretty much. All you have to do is find a way to go higher. It sounds like most of the people who do it already exist on a higher plane, somehow."

"This book says that those who find a way to ascend without 'duality of existence' just kinda go higher," Pinkie Pie said as she skimmed through several pages while preparing her icing bags. "I'm pretty good at speaking gibberish, and none of the words here make sense to me. I think they're trying to describe the method of ascension, but the context is off on some. Some words and phrases are redundant, and others seem like they've been made up."

"Personally, I blame Dragonball Z for this," Unicron said. "If Vegeta weren't so bent on 'ascending to the next level' then it wouldn't have become a staple in anime."

"Getting stronger has always been a staple in action and adventure stories. Dragonball Z didn't start it. In fact, folks have been getting stronger on their own and 'raising it up a notch' forever!"

"Yes, but the current generation has to have been influenced by something. Newer generations are not introduced to the origins of ideas and themes, and so they must learn about these things through the new media provided for them. Many of the creators of media don't know where the themes they work with were born. Some knowledge is stolen by time, and some knowledge is stolen by poor education."

"Yet, Dragonball Z is hardly the only thing that can be held responsible for this,"

"It is the greatest example of this theme from the last generation," Unicron rumbled. "It influenced all that came after it, and they followed in its footsteps. They didn't just copy the method of ascension, they copied the urgent tone, the over-the-top animation, and worked to push it further. Even those children who never watched Dragonball Z have no doubt watched something inspired by it. Extreme power is best used sparingly, for like most things, it loses the effect of inspiring awe when used too often. Dragonball Z set the stage for one-upsmanship in anime. It most certainly can be held responsible for this."

"Aww," Pinkie Pie said as her mane slumped a bit. "But I love Dragonball…"

"Hey, look over there," Sunset Shimmer said as she pointed with a hoof. There were long lines of creatures, twenty to a line, standing outside of wooden outhouses that floated in the void.

"What are they?" Pinkie Pie asked as she stared off into the distance, trying to see the end of the line of outhouses. "They look like the Poes from Hyrule."

"They're called Zions," Unicron said as he glanced at the fiends and smiled. "They exist in a state of 'I think, therefore I am', yet they have no will. So, I gave them a thought. They haven't the will to ignore it or think of anything else."

"You told them to do the potty dance while standing in line outside a bunch of outhouses?" Pinkie Pie said in amazement. "For how long?"

"All eternity. They are pathetic fodder, and operate on the laws that govern this 'Realm Reborn Red'. I've done the same thing to a number of heroes in this 'Suggsverse', as well."

Unicron pointed at a white-haired man with a coat that looked like twinkling stars. He had a red katana at his waist, and his face was scrunched up in pain. The man stood in line further down the rows of outhouses, with other beings nearby in human forms scattered among the Zions. They all danced in urgency, but not a single line moved.

"You know that if Lionel Suggs ever acknowledges this, he'll probably just say that one of his characters wrote this as a parody. Or else, he'll say it never happened."

"Best case scenario, he ignores it," Unicron said with a sinister smile. "This is a parody of his work, afterall. All of these characters are his in their entirety. They are parodies of other works, themselves, but they are his nonetheless. This entire conglomeration known as Suggsverse is a parody of good fiction. Its laws are meaningless, and thus, easily manipulated by one who has a true grasp on the scope of omnipotence."

"That's pretty mean," Sunset Shimmer said as she watched Chris Raion Spades squeeze his legs together and cry as he waited at the back of the line.

"I am an evil robot god," Unicron said as he and his passengers left Realm Reborn Red. "I am not here to be 'nice'. I am here to devour the Art Gallery."


	6. Chapter 6

"So, what else should we cover?" Pinkie Pie asked as they approached the end of the road of light. Before them stood a building of grey stone and marble. Unicron dwarfed it, but to the ponies it was large.

"Well, there's this guy from the wiki," Sunset Shimmer said as she read the page on her computer. "His name is Callimachus Pride. It says that he encountered someone named 'Miss Bunny' as she was devouring infinite omniverse after infinite omniverse. They'd had a child together, and he wanted to 'change the script', only Miss Bunny didn't want to…"

"Sounds like a couple fighting over an abor…" Unicron said

"No!" Pinkie Pie yelled. "We're not going there! I don't care if it's canon to the Suggsverse, we're not going there!"

"Well, powers and abilities are all prominent entries in the character pages here," Sunset Shimmer continued. "More prominent than actual story elements in most cases. His powers state that 'As a Finalé, Callimachus Pride can literally do anything she supremely well please…"

"Ignoring the poor writing, if that were true then he wouldn't have failed to get his girlfriend to have…"

"I said no!" Pinkie Pie yelled once more as she threw her seven-layer cake at Unicron's head. The cake collided with the robot god's skull and slid down. Unicron only grumbled angrily as he finally came to stand before the Art Gallery. Before the doors of the building stood six humans with technicolor skin tones. Behind them stood Galactus, now glowing with a bright golden hue. Zephyranth stood just before the humans, talking casually with them in a much more rational manner than her daughters had.

"What's going on, girls?" Sunset Shimmer said as Unicron carried the ponies to the ground once more. "Did Galactus get a new outfit after eating the Voyager's home, or something?"

"Actually, Marvel did this to me," Galactus said, happily. "Thanks to the Ultimates, I am the Lifegiver, now. I use my vast energies to give life to dead planets."

"Zephyranth was just explaining to us about how the author got all of his ideas," Rarity said. "I admire his desire to create, but he hasn't really done much beyond constant inflation of power and scope."

"Yeah, we've been discussing this a bit, ourselves," Sunset said. "A lot of his powers involve long-winded descriptions."

"Read one!" the Pinkie Pies said as they jumped up and down.

"Why don't you read about me?" Zephyranth said as she pulled a book from one of her own bags. She opened it to the bookmarked page while handing it to Sunset Shimmer.

"Are you sure?" Sunset said as she accepted the book.

"Yes. I think the passage that was marked will provide some insight."

"Alright," Sunset said. She opened the book as her friends gathered round, and she began to read. "Zephyranth is completely outside (yet fully all-encompassing) Possibility, Totality, and Nothingness within all of fiction, all of nonfiction, all of transfiction, all of hyperfiction, all of subfiction, all of fanfiction, all of metafiction, all of patafiction, all of interfiction, all of personal fiction, and all of impersonal fiction of (and from) every Story/Plot/Verse/Author. Zephyranth is a Voyager."

"Wow," Rainbow Dash said as she rubbed her temples. "I think I need some apple cider."

"Granny almost caught me last time you wanted apple cider," Applejack said. "Still, it might be worth the risk after that."

"It's like he's arguing for his control over every work of fiction ever written," Rarity said, disdainfully. "They're all within his omniverse, yet he has infinite omniverses. With so much quantity, he's missed out on the quality."

"I wonder," Zephyranth said. "Does it sound familiar?"

"I… I don't know," Sunset said slowly. "What do you think, Unicron?"

Sunset turned to face the Transformer God only to see his scowling face staring hard at Galactus.

"Is there something wrong?" Galactus asked Unicron. His new, golden form shimmered with the lifegiving energy that flowed through his body, contrasting strangely with the evil aura of the robot god.

"I respected you," Unicron said, accusingly. "You were a cosmic balancing act. We both ate planets and got stronger from it. We had something in common!"

"I don't understand," Galactus said. "What are you getting at, Transformer?"

"I respected you," Unicron repeated, his voice growing colder and more violent with each syllable. "Now I hear more drivel from this 'Suggsverse'…"

"Don't be mean!" the Pinkies yelled from the ground.

"I hear more drivel," Unicron said, emphasizing the insult to spite the pony and human. "And it sounds like Marvel's description of their Omniverse. Oh, I'll admit that this one is quite different in context and wording. It describes the supposed nature of this 'Voyager' woman. But it is long-winded, unnecessarily complex, and it only serves to inflate the power and scale of a universe that should be built on story! It encompasses everything and everyone that could possibly exist, even those intellectual works from others, and claims to put them under a single author and under the control of a single character!"

"I still don't see what you are getting at," Galactus said defensively. He lowered his head, his gaze never leaving Unicron's face, as he put his hands behind his back.

"I respected you!" Unicron said more loudly than before. "Now I learn that this 'Suggsverse' received its insane power inflation ideas from Marvel!"

"Are you saying that the Marvel Omniverse theory is incorrect?"

"An infinite multiverse accomplishes the same goals in scope without the arrogance."

"What makes you think arrogance drives us? Marvel and DC have a long running, friendly rivalry. We have a lot of respect for one another. Their Omniversal theory is the same as ours."

"So you created a means for your franchises to be close to one another?" Sunset said. "That's sweet, but why include everyone else's work? Why not just say that the infinite dimensions and multiverses that make up your separate fictions are close, but never touching? That would take care of legal matters without including all of the things you guys have no rights to. Besides, the definition of an Omniverse changes from source to source, while the definition of a Multiverse is generally agreed upon."

"We, uh, did it for fun?" Galactus said as he searched for an answer. "Regardless of our reasons, our mythos is grand in scale and always has been. An 'infinite multiverse' can't possibly contain it."

"Infinity: the quality of having no limits or end," the human Pinkie Pie said as she read from a dictionary she had pulled from her hair. "The quality of being infinite. A space, amount, or period of time that has no limits or end. A very great number or amount. The full definition of Infinity also includes the word 'boundless' as a description."

"Unless you're trying to make a case for 'Omni-infinity', I think your argument doesn't have a leg to stand on," Sunset Shimmer said as she looked at the great, golden god disapprovingly. "And if you're trying to make a case for 'Omni-infinity', then you'd be just as guilty of using redundant, made-up words for pointless power inflation as the Suggsverse is."

"H.P. Lovecraft did it first, you know," Galactus said defensively.

"H.P. Lovecraft did it to write an imaginative backdrop in which interesting stories could be written!" Unicron roared. "He didn't do it so he could claim false domain over his rivals! Nor did he do it for the sake of comic company bromance!"

"I am done discussing this with you," Galactus said as he turned away from Unicron.

"Oh, but I'm not done with you," Unicron said as he grabbed Galactus by the throat.

"Release me!" Galactus yelled as he struggled in vain against the robot god. "I am Galactus, Bringer of Life! My duty is vital to the Multiverse!"

"That's the other thing," Unicron rumbled. "You're a Lifegiver, now. You are not the Deathbringer you once were. Combine this 'change' with Marvel's abhorrent sins of power inflation, and I have lost all respect for you."

"Release me!" Galactus yelled again as his blasts of cosmic energy washed over Unicron. "Where are you taking me?"

"I'm going to eat you!" Unicron yelled as he shrugged off the Lifegiver's attacks. "Then I'm going to go home, punch Primus in the face, and sleep for a thousand years!"

The group that stood before the Art Gallery watched as Unicron dragged Galactus away. Their angry shouts carried through the Suggsverse as they made their way down the path of light.

"Uh…" Sunset Shimmer said, in confusion.

"Awkward," the Pinkie Pies said in unison.

"Wait, how did those two get here in the first place?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the soft, cunning voice of Discord as he appeared out of thin air. "They must have just decided to come here themselves."

"Yeah, I don't think so," said the pony Pinkie Pie. "You're pretty bad at feigning innocence, Discord."

"It doesn't matter," Sunset said. "I think we'd all just like to go home at this point."

"Done," Discord said as he snapped his claws. Two portals appeared on the path behind him. The Canterlot High girls said their goodbyes as they went through the left hand portal to their school. The Voyager turned and walked into the Art Gallery as the pony Pinkie Pie waved goodbye.

"Are you coming?" Pinkie Pie asked as she stood at the edge of the portal back to Ponyville.

"Hmmm," Discord said as he watched Unicron and Galactus continue down the pathway. "I think I'll go say goodbye to my new… uh, friends, first."

"You're going to watch Unicron eat Galactus, aren't you?"

"Would you like to come with?"

"No, that's ok," Pinkie Pie said, uneasily. "Just, uh, promise me you won't look too closely, or take away any ideas."

"I promise not to try and eat Equestria when I get back," Discord said as a bag of popcorn appeared in his claws. "Now, run along home. I'll follow after you shortly."

The two parted ways as Galactus' screams continued to ring throughout the Suggsverse.


End file.
